#8 Transport Glitter Carefully

And use it liberally: on your face, in your craft, sprinkle on cakes.

Glitter is a truly wonderful thing.  Me and your Ma have spent years perfecting the art of glittering.  I vow, as your Auntie, to always keep your glitter stores fully replenished and bountiful.

ImageMy Glitter Collection, as of Summer 2013

Edible cake glitter is a new fave of mine, looks great on cakes, or roast dinners.  I chuck it on everything to impress my guests.  However, my speciality is craft glitter.  I own a lot.  And I use it on everything.  Can’t wait to do some glittery arts and crafts with you when you’re a bit older!  We shall have hours of fun.

I want to warn you though of the Great Glitter Disaster 2010. It took place at my friend Jamie’s wedding and was an absolute catastrophe.  Sometimes Lottie, I am, at best a little disorganised.  Sometimes I forget to do the things I’m supposed to do.  Like making Jamie’s wedding card.  Imagine this:  You’ve left it too late, it’s the morning of the wedding , the card’s only just finished, the PVA’s drying, and you’ve decided to glitter it on arrival at the hotel.  You chuck your magenta pink glitter carelessly in to your handbag and head for the wedding.  It’s a beautiful wedding (you cry).  After lunch, you decide to take a little nap.  On waking, you can’t find your room key  (another classic example of your disorganisation.)   Thinking it’s sure to be in your handbag, you tip the handbag upside-down on to the bed.  No key.  But an explosion of magenta pink glitter.  Loads of it.  More than you could ever imagine would fit in to one of those tiny glitter shakers.  Panicking, you began to scoop.  Frantic scoops.  Handful upon handful of glitter.  You discard it in the loo.  You’re sharing the bed with your friend Hannah, and you know there is no way Hannah will want to sleep in amongst glitter-laden sheets (you’re not too opposed to the idea).  You scoop and dump, but then your hands are totally covered in pink glitter, and it’s sticking, and you just can’t brush it off.  Then Donna and Hannah walk in.  Both the room, and you are just one big glittery mess.  Talk about embarrassing!

Eventually we made the room acceptable.  (We still woke up the next morning covered in pink glitter.)  For months after my keys had a constant pink glitter crust surrounding them, and I’d hand shopkeepers coins from the realms of my bag, glitter coins.  I’d apologise profusely, watching their hands fall victim to The Great Glitter Disaster.  I once even tried to explain The Disaster to the newsagent in Finchley.  He seemed confused. 

I learnt a really valuable lesson that Autumn, Lottie.  Use glitter, use glitter to your heart’s content.  But heed the warning of the Great Glitter Disaster 2010, please, never, EVER, transport it in your bag without putting it in a ziplock bag first, the chaos that ensues is colossal, and really not worth it.

Ps… If you grow up and decide you don’t like glitter, that’s okay too.


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