#48 Always say something

There are times when your friends will go through unbearably hard times, and it will be painful to see them suffer.  And more often than not it’s impossible to know what to do or say, or how to help and there’s no instruction manual on how to proceed.

I remember in my teen years a couple of my friends went through impossibly hard times, and a lot of us found it hard to talk to them about it because we didn’t know what to say.  My biggest regret is not saying anything.  You don’t have to say anything grand, you don’t have to try to find words to make it better.  Let them know you’re there, let them know you’re thinking of them, and that you care and that you love them.  Offer to help in anyway you can, but make sure that the help you offer you can deliver, and intend to if they take you up on it.  They might not want to talk about it, or they might, so let them know you’re willing to listen if and when they want to talk.  I always leave my phone on at night, especially if friends are having a tough time, I’d rather know they could get in touch with me than think of them lying awake having  horrible time alone.

You’ll find your own way, and as you get older, inevitably and sadly, situations will arise more often.  But I know the first times we have to deal with these things as young adults, it can feel impossible to know what to do or say (it’s not much easier as you get older, but we learn from experiences), I wanted to share this with you as a little guidance.

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