And they too shall pass.
Every tiny moment, whatever you’re doing, is all part of the fabric.
Yesterday I was on my way home from work with a really heavy suitcase and then one of the wheels fell off and I live at the top of a massive hill. It was hot, I was sweaty, it had taken me nearly three hours to get home from North London, and all I could think was ‘This is precious writing time, it’s slipping away, all the while I’m lugging this suitcase up a hill I could be writing and getting that little bit closer to ‘the life I want”. And then I stopped to consider the things I was saying. It’s good to have one eye on the future, of course, and to dream and have ambition is how we propel ourselves forward. But, in that moment, in my life, hauling a three wheeled suitcase up a very steep hill in the sweltering sun was my reality. And I could choose how I felt about that. I could be angry and upset that I wasn’t at my desk. Or I could Open Space it; (see blog#35) I would arrive home when I was supposed to, and in the meantime I could find a way to be present in this sweaty, marginally undignified moment.
All of these tiny moments add up to create huge chunks of our lives, the walks to and from work, waiting for a friend outside a cafe, the train rides, the supermarket shops, cleaning the house, doing the dishes, waiting for buses. The things we do, that we consider to be the in between bits, the less fleshy parts of our lives. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s important not to let these moments skip by, wishing for ‘later’ when we’ll be doing something we feel is ‘more’ our life than this, here, now.
I took a look at the view. I considered what a good workout this was (people ACTUALLY pay to use cross trainers in gyms Lottie – I had a 25 kilo suitcase instead! For free!) I observed how it felt, how I was feeling, I scanned my senses, and checked in to my life. Because across the landscape of my life, this was a relatively good moment (albeit a little sweaty and flustered). Don’t let these moments skitter away, see them, rest in them a moment and appreciate where you’re at.
For a long time I lived my life thinking ‘It will be better when: I am thinner / fatter / cleverer / earning more money / have more holidays/ am published / have an acting agent.’ But the truth is, all we have is right now. This moment. And this too is our life. So hold your dreams, your ambitions and ideals lightly in the palm of one hand, and with the other seize THIS moment and hold on tightly. All time, is good time.
“Do not think that time simply flies away. Do not understand ‘flying’ as the only function of time. If time simply flew away, a separation would exist between you and time. So if you understand time only as passing, then you do not understand the time being.
To grasp this truly, every being that exists in the entire world is linked together as moments in time, and at the same time they exist as individual moments of time. Because all moments are the time being, they are your time being.” – Dōgen Zenji