#93 Learn to say ‘No’

Ah Lottie, it took me years to learn how to say ‘no’ to people.

I’m always desperate to please others, be helpful, be needed, and useful.  Aren’t we all?  So when people used to ask me to do something, be it a work thing, a friend thing, or any other kind of thing, I used to immediately say ‘Yes’, before I’d considered if it was practical, do-able, or if I actually even wanted to do it!

And so I used to run myself in to the ground, late nights spent doing things I didn’t want to do.  Frantic moments trying to finish things I said I’d do but didn’t have time for or didn’t know how to.  Or dashing to events that I had no time to attend but had felt obliged to.

Then eventually, I learnt the lesson.  ‘No’ is okay.

‘No’ saves you from burning out.

‘No’ means you don’t end up doing things that you don’t want to do.

‘No’ does not mean people will like you any less.

In fact, ‘No’ means they may even respect you a little more.

I’m good at saying ‘no’ now.  You don’t even have to give any other reason that you don’t want to.  If it feels like you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to.   The choice is entirely yours.  Be assertive with your ‘Nos’, in whichever part of your life you use them.  And be strong, ensure that others know your ‘No’ means ‘No’.

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