#136 People aren’t mind-readers

If someone’s done something wrong, or has upset you in some way, the best thing to do is tell them. They may not have realised they’ve upset you – there’s nothing worse than being given the cold shoulder and not knowing why. By telling them it opens up an opportunity for you both to talk about it, more often than not you may find that they’re mortified that they upset you, or maybe not. But if you don’t mention it, you’ll never know.

Honour yourself by addressing someone if they have offended or upset you in some way, If you don’t you may find your own anger steadily rise, or that you start to build a case against them (building up cases against people is never a good thing).

Addressing these things can be incredibly challenging, I know! But in the long run it can restore relationships and help all parties to grow.

This life lesson also applies to if you want something – don’t expect people to divinely know what’s going on in your head. Ask for it. Precisely describe what it is you’re after.

And remember you’re not a mind reader either. Never feel bad in situations where someone was expecting something from you, and you didn’t deliver because they hadn’t clearly stated it.

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#135 Girls get moustaches

And beards.

We do. It’s normal! If you have darker hair, you may notice it at a younger age. It’s common for women to develop more facial hair during their mid 20s+ or during pregnancy, or at any other point for no apparent reason. And it’s absolutely okay!

I thought I’d explain this, because last year I noticed more ‘tache than ever before and thought I had something wrong with me. But following extensive internet research and conversations with friends, it is normal!

So embrace the face (hair)!

Some women choose to yank it out or shave it, some let it go free. Whatever you go with will be the right decision, as long as it’s a decision you’ve made yourself!

Women are hairy! Hair is okay. Hair is great. Don’t let the media lead you to believe it’s repulsive, and that you should consistently be a plucked chicken. Sometimes life is far too exciting to be tweezing.

Hair just a part of you. And remember that thing about you being a miracle? Even your hairs are miracles. Hurrah!

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#134 A little perfume is plenty

Yesterday was Friday.  I was going out to the theatre, I was seeing my friends, I was excited!  I had also relocated my Marc Jacob perfume which has been missing for about two years – my joy resulted in me being a little too frivolous with my perfume distribution.  As a consequence I had a nose headache for most of the early part of the evening and it nearly made me gag.

Just because you love your perfume, it doesn’t mean more is better.  Don’t ruin your relationship with your favourite perfume.  Everything in moderation.  A squirt on the wrists and another on the neck is more than plenty!

#133 Never Stop Asking

You may have a friend that is busy a lot.  Or doesn’t like going out that much.  Or spends a lot of time with their partner, or whatever.  But don’t stop asking them out, just because you expect them to say ‘NO’.  Because one time, they may need your friendship, or you theirs, and that’ll be the time they accept your invitation.  It’s horrible to stop being invited to things.  It’s also good to invite people even if you know that they won’t be able to come – it’s a gesture and an acknowledgement of friendship.

Always ask.  You never know.

#132 If you ever get mugged, throw your purse…

I (touch wood) have not yet been mugged – ignoring the attempted but failed mugging in Camberwell 2013, but that’s another story.

First rule of muggings – handover the goods.  Don’t risk your safety for a phone or purse which can be replaced.

When I’ve travelled abroad, I’ve often had a mugging purse.  That’s a purse I keep to hand with a bit of cash in. so that in the event of a mugging I can hand it over, while the ‘real’ money is stashed elsewhere.  Travellers are known for carrying a lot of cash, so be weary when on your holidays as you may be more of a target than when you’re at home.

Not so long ago I heard a mother imparting a life lesson to her daughter on the streets of Norwood Junction.  At first I was sad that we live in a world where we have to warn our eight year olds about muggings and what to do if or when they happen.  But, we do – this world is our truth, so rather that ignoring the things, let’s talk about them.  The mother’s life lesson was that if you’re ever mugged, throw your purse a distance from yourself.  That way the person has to move away from you to get it, buying you some time to get away from the situation.  In most cases they will just be after your stuff. Obviously ALWAYS judge the situation, but to me, this seemed a practical thing that I would not have thought of.

This post isn’t supposed to scare, or be pessimistic on life, just remember to keep yourself safe Lottie.  Take well lit routes at night, and busy ones if possible.  Don’t keep phones / purses on display, especially if you’re by yourself.  Don’t take any risks – if something feels a bit wrong, listen to your intuition.

#131 Don’t be afraid to say ‘YAY ME!’

It’s something we’re not always very good at as a culture.  Celebrating ourselves when we do something awesome.  Some people are, some aren’t.  Often, I think, people don’t realise just how awesome they are (this is based on people I know.)

It’s really hard sometimes to be nice to ourselves.  We live in a culture heavily influenced by ego – few people want to be seen to have an inflated one, to be seen as perceiving themselves to be more awesome than they actually are.  As a result, egos are often deflated to teeny, tiny raisin size,  when actually they need feeding healthy stuff from time to time to stop them drying out.  I’m not saying I agree or disagree with this, it’s just a fact of where and how we live.

Lottie, I have something exciting to tell you.  Every now and again, you WILL do awesome things.  Strokes of genius.  Moments where you surprise yourself – exceed even your own expectations.  Sometimes they’ll be flukey results of character, sometimes they’ll come from days, weeks or even months of hard work.  We are all capable of doing marvelous things, no matter how big or small.

We have every right to be proud of those marvelous things, not in an, ‘I’M BETTER THAN YOU’ – ego-boosting, self-important kind of a way.  That’s not cool.  Nothing you do will ever make you more or less important than any other human being on the planet- hold on to that.  And of course, no one wants to be seen as boastful, or ‘full of themselves’.  But it’s fine to share and talk about the things you’re proud of, it’s healthy to acknowledge the work that went in to them, speak honestly, speak from your heart about them.  Noticing and celebrating the awesome things you do is an act of kindness to yourself.  It’s about a confidence, not an arrogance.

So, next time you do something awesome fill those lungs with air to gift yourself a great big: ‘YAY ME!’ – and celebrate the brilliance of you.

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#130 Do the thing you’re dreading the most, first.

You know that thing, that you’ve been putting off all day because you REALLY don’t want to do it.

Well, just do it.

Do it first.  It makes all of the other jobs easier.  I promise!  If you don’t it hangs over you and gives you the heebie-jeebies while you’re trying to get everything else done.  Once it’s done you’ll feel great, and can get on with your day!

This is a short and simple life lesson, yet I find it ever difficult to put in to action.